A Prayer for Annie
Went to see my RE (doctor) yesterday. My follicles are doing okay. In fact he said he was quite happy with my progress, as I was producing "not too little and not too many"but he said it very cautiously. Anyway, I'd probably have my eggs retrieved on Wednesday or Thursday. Then they would be fertilised by DH's 'swimmers' in a petri dish and hopefully transferred back into my uterus by Saturday or Sunday. After that, I'd have a 2 week-wait(2ww) before we can test to see if the IVF has succeeded.
Actually, my doctor need not have been worried about overpromising me anything. I know the deal. Only 1 in 3 succeed, and DH and me know at the end of the day we have to accept whatever God wants to give us. He knows best and I'll walk down whichever path he chooses for me. How do I know IVF is the correct path? I don't. But we've been trying to conceive for 5 out of the 6 years we've been married now and let's just say the series of events we've had to go through [which included my younger brother's death (10 years younger but wiser than me,he was MY PRECIOUS -part of my heart died that day)2 years ago] has led us to where we are right now.
I feel like Virginia Woolf, with all these parentheses. Sometimes I feel like her. All alone and not able to get out of dark waters i get myself into. Sometimes I feel like I live in permanent state of pain, but then I pray and HE relieves my pain.
I'm aware of all the risks that I'm putting myself in (physically, emotionally and spiritually), but I'm willing to try. I feel so special already, having a 1 in 3 chance. I have a blocked fallopian tube (which reduces my chance of conceiving greatly- my husband is fine) so IVF would help us bypass my tubes. I've added a link to an infertility blog hosted by a fertility specialist if anybody wants to know more..I don't feel I'm qualified to answer the more technical questions.
Please pray for me.
posted by AnnieSeed at 8:13 AM
4 Comments:
You may have noticed me say that, to summarise, I am not especially religious hese days. Most of the time, I try not to bother God, and he does not bother me ;) I think there was a time a few weeks ago when I was simply gazing out the window and I thought of God, to simply thank him for everything.
Recently, I have thought of God when reading Hanni's blog, and the people who post comments to it. And, noticing all the other blogs that mention God, too.
I remember having read something in your original blog that made me consider offering to pray for you. Perhaps it was just all of it.
I will pray for you, Annie.
Thank you M.
Thanks snow/hanni.
I'm a wreck right now. It means a great deal to me.
I read this, and it reminded me I hadn't prayed for you yet today. I had been doing it in the mornings, but on a work day, I barely have time to get dressed, let alone anything else. Had been planning on doing it this evening, but changed my mind... While I was out on a short walk just now, I found a quiet spot, plonked myself down on the floor, and prayed for you again. I can say I've done that every day (three) since I said I would do, now.
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